Welcome to Konoha's Nursery
by Leahnor Lex J. Maxwell
Summary: Chibi!Akatsuki with some Chibi!leafnins. Upon the unexpected results of a jutsu, Tsunade names Sasuke and Naruto as the caretakers of a bunch of chibis. Chibis with excelente reflexes and sharp, creative minds. How are they going to survive? CRACK
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** If my name is Masashi Kishimoto, then I wouldn't be stuck in this hell hole, wet to the bone since my mother left me –alone, I may emphasize- in the middle of washing the car, 'cause her favorite program –meaning soap opera- had already started. So, no, I do Not own Naruto.

To be sincere, I don't know how this idea hit my brain… To begin with, I was cutting sausage for dinner. So… this is CRACK.

**Warning:** Contains lots and lots of cuteness and chibi!Akatsuki members along some leaf-nins. And _**AU**_!

If you find grammar errors –which I am sure you are gonna do- English is my second language and I don't speak it fluently. I'll be very grateful if you could pinpoint where those errors are.

_**Welcome to Konoha's Nursery**_

It was a wonderful day, full of cheerful sounds; the breeze runs free through the trees and our story begins in a not-so-little piece of land call Konoha.

In this city, the government –two old coots, one old hag and one not –so-young Hokage- were deciding the future of the most worrisome –and dangerous- persons that the village have ever host: Akatsuki.

Inside the Hokage tower, in the Godaime's office, where stationed on the floor a bunch of toddlers –fifteen toddlers to be exact. Toddlers dressed in black cloak with red clouds print in them and some in Konoha's standard uniform. Toddlers that were trying to bring down the office with their annoying wailings.

Tsunade massage her temples in a vain attempt to calm the upcoming headache that was threatening to split her head. And the useless council was doing nothing to stop it with their discussion. Although it was debatable if they were discussing how to deal with the Akastuki or trying to convince her to kill nine of the toddlers.

-'Tsunade, the village will be in danger if you let them live. They are toddlers now, they are easier to kill'- state Homura as a matter of fact. The Slug Sannin just shot him an annoyed look.

-'Homura, I know they are easier to kill but they are toddlers and for all we know, they aren't able to return to their former age until we found the perfect jutsu to counteract this curse.'- a small but predatory smile make its way to Tsunade's face, given chills to the council.-'In fact, I dare to say that they are more useful this way'- at the confuse faces of the Council, she elaborate.-'If we can gain their loyalty treating them in a good way, they will be useful for the village protection'-Never mind, it was the perfect curse of action to get back to the annoying gaki. Her smile widens more, if that it's possible.

The Council decided to keep their mouths shut for once in their life at the sight of the Godaime's predatory smile.

_**Konoha's Nursery**_

His left eye was twitching and all because a blond moron attempted to prank a certain pink-haired medic-nin –who just happens to have monstrous strength- causing him to land in the hospital.

_Again._

He sighed heavily pinching the bridge of his nose, looking at said moron sleep in bliss ignorance before deciding that it will be a good idea to tell his Hokage about Naruto's condition, for he doubts Sakura is in a mood to explain Tsunade why she is covered in a strange sticky neon green substance that just couldn't get off and Naruto's unconsciousness.

What Uchiha Sasuke didn't know was _that it _was the worst decision he has ever made.

Well, at least since his return to Konoha after the wannabe missing nin's scene he made.

_**Konoha's Nursery**_

Golden eyes stare at the sleeping toddlers that were resting on her floor. On her puffy tatamis. And drooling.

A series of soft knocks make her broke out of the staring.

-'Come in'- she said and the door open to revel Shizune with Sasuke tagging along, wearing an exasperate look. She grimaces while she orders Shizune to leave her alon with the teenager.

This has to be relate to Naruto. She knew it.

And after hearing Sasuke story, she was proven right. Sighing, she put her face in front of her hands thinking in a way to make the gaki pay for his prank when the image of the toddlers cross her mind. And if she could get Sasuke involved in this…

-'Ne, Uchiha. I have a mission for you and the brat'- Blank eyes look at her wondering what half cooked plan she was making. –'You see, I have got a bunch of toddlers'- She point at the children on her tatami causing Sasuke to ask himself how they got there.-'And I'm thinking of starting a nursery for just them for they are special… but you know, that will require hiring _skillful_ caretakers.'- She saw Sasuke's mind has already start to connect the dots if the quick blanching of his face was any indication. –'Thus, you and Naruto have been recruited, although seeing the kid won't grace with his presence in the next days; you must take care of them… _alone.'_-

The black-haired boy stare at the sleeping toddlers in horror taking notice for the first time in their cloths and more important: their appearance.

She wants Naruto and himself to take care of Akatsuki, Kakashi, Genma, Anko, Ibiki, Gai and Kurenai.

Plus, taking care of the Akatsuki means taking care of his older brother…

Mmmm, maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

-'A nothing shall happen to them, including Itachi, Do you understand, Uchiha?'- Damn it!! Sasuke curse her to the next room for that phrase. And for the smile. Yes, that evil smile too.

He sighs.

This was going to be HELL. And quiet literally.

* * *

Oy, this is the first chapter and on a relate note: I do not know how many chapters are going to be nor when the next up date is due but I'm going to make my best so it can be on line in two weeks.

By the way, this is not slash and won't contain pairings. Of any kind.

And please, pretty please REVIEW!!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto –although I wish I could-.

Thanks to those who sent reviews! And sorry -bows deeply- for the grammatical horrors. I would really appreciate it if someone helps me with them. Really.

Author's Note: I would like to apologize for not up dating but I totally went into this thing call Author's block.

Ideas are welcome.

So you know, this is AU!

First Day

Black Vs. Green.

Sasuke Vs. Kakuzu.

They had been glaring at each other for the last five minutes and arguing for more than two hours about the sleeping arrangements and food. In the end they had settle for two kids in each room. And the order would be like this: On the west side of the house starting form the last room Nagato –the kid with red hair and creepy eyes- and Konan will be sharing, then it will be Kakuzu and Hidan one the next room. In front of Nagato's room, Deidara and the kid with black spiky hair will be occupying what used to be Sasuke's old room. Next to them the Evil Spawn –A.K.A Itachi- and Blue Man Shark Face –A.K.A. Kisame- will be staying in Itachi's old room. On the other side of the house, Kurenai and Anko will be staying together, while Kakashi and Genma –Sasuke dread this pair, for he knows they are two great perverts, never mind the fact that they are toddlers who couldn't even reach the stove- were sharing a room and the last pairing was Ibiki and Gai. Zetsu was going to stay in a room alone –for some strange reason the other Akatsuki members didn't want to pair up with him.

At first, Sasuke didn't want to agree with Kakuzu. Only Kami knows in what kind of trouble they would have gotten themselves in if they were alone and without supervision but somehow the toddler must have tricked him because he agreed.

Sasuke sighs and close his eyes, giving in. Before opening them when an explosion was heard on the west side of the house. Where Deidara just happen to be. He closes them again when childish, maniacal laughter was heard in the house.

And so…

The day begun.

**O:o:O**

Yamanaka Ino just stares at her pink-haired best friend with her mouth open. She blinked once, then twice and started laughing her ass off.

'You are telling me that the Akatsuki has been shimprifed and that your sensei, Kurenai, Gai, Ibiki and Anko are cursed as well. And Sasuke and Naruto are taking care of them. Jojojo, this is too good to pass up', Sakura cringes at seeing Ino's smile.

'Ino-pig' The blond glared at her for the nickname 'WE are not going to cause more trouble to my teammates' The scene where she was covered in the sticky neon green substance pass through her mind 'No matter how tempting that is' she finished, giving her best friend the evil eye.

Ino pouted at being denied her unspoken request. She so wanted to go there and see the mini-jonins. And take lots of photos for blackmailing material. But… she peeked from the corner of her eye at Sakura. She knew that her friend was dying to go in there and see the kids… she just needed a little push in the right direction.

Thus, not even ten minutes later, they were on the way to Sasuke's house.

**O:o:O**

Red eyes –full of curiosity and wonder –tried to read the label on the can. Kurenai frowned when she didn't understand; after all, she had seen the one Sasuke-san call Demon Spawn read it aloud a moment ago. So, in her mind, if the other kid could, then… why couldn't she?

It was in that moment that Anko-chan came bouncing in the room.

'Ne, ne, ne. Kuweani-chan, Whatcha doin'?' ask the other girl. Little Anko couldn't pronounce "r"

Kurenai look at her companion, frowning.

-'I… I…'she sniffed before starting to cry.

Anko just look at her in confusion. The black haired kid just pointed at the can trying to say something between her sobs. Anko didn't understand what Kurenai wanted to say butshe concluded that the can was the evil reason behind her friend's sorrow.

With a deep look of concentration on her cute little face, she decided to take the matter into her hands.

**O:o:O**

The dark-haired youth eyed warily the innocent looking toddlers that were currently sitting on his living room. Well, if someone wanted to be exact, they weren't exactly sitting… more than crawling and trying to break out through the windows and causing chaos and mayhem altogether.

Currently, Kakuzu and Hidan were busy wrestling in the sofa over the feeding bottle with Winnie The Pooh images printed on it. The so-call-leader of the Akatsuki was speaking about taking over the world to a bunch of teddy bears that used to be Itachi's with his partner (Konan was the girl's name if Sasuke remember correctly) sitting dutifully by his side eyeing him with big hearts. Kakashi and Genma had their noses stuck in Icha Icha Paradise (Sasuke was fervently hoping they were only looking at the pictures and NOT reading).

On the far east side, Deidara was playing with non-explosive clay and Tobi was painting peacefully on the tatami. Itachi and Ibiki were in some sort of staring contest, as in "I am alpha, you are uke" or something along those lines. Gai was sleeping –thank you kami-sama- and Zetsu… Zetsu was looking at his plants with really, really, REALLY creepy eyes.

Sasuke sighs, before starting to count them. One, two three, mmm…. There were thirteen in total, where were the other two? And who were the ones that were currently missing?

It was in that moment that the doorbell rang.

Frowning, thinking who could be paying him a visit, he opened the door.

The smiling faces of Sakura and Ino make him curse aloud.

**O:o:O**

In the kitchen, Anko was looking at her masterpiece with proud. A single tear escape her left eye and she wiped it. By her side, Kurenai was sniffing but looking with curiosity at the boiling pot in the stove. Mind you, how they manage to fire up the stove was beyond the black haired girl understanding.

-'Anko-chan. What…?'. Try to ask Kurenai. Her friend only smile.

-'Well, since the can made you cwy, we buwnt it!' Anko explain. Kurenai only eye her with wariness and nod slowly.

-'If you say…'

Anko's smile only widen before dragging her companion to the living room.

**O:o:O**

'Out'

A pout appear in the girl's faces.

'Out'

Puppy eyes.

Sasuke's eyebrow starts twitching.

Sakura eyed him innocently before cracking her knuckles.

Sasuke stepped aside.

And with that, the two girls enter the house.

The first thing they saw was a total mess. And all the toddlers causing havoc.

-'Awwww' Ino said looking at the kids. 'They are so adorable'

Sakura could only smile and agreed with her friend.

Sasuke was directly behind eyeing them with horror. Adorable? What the hell?

**O:o:O**

Kakuzu stop fighting with Hidan when he noticed the two strangers in the room with their caretaker behind them. He left the blond kid sucking on the bottle to make his way to the girls.

-'Pinky fweak' he pointed at Sakura.

Sasuke cover a tiny smile. Unfortunately, she saw it and punched him. Hard.

And when Ino was going to tease Sakura, Kakuzu turned to her. –'Witch'- And with that, he returned to Hidan to claim his Pooh bottle.

Ino just gapped at the kid.

-'So, adorable?'- asked Sasuke, rubbing his arm.

He only received two glares in answer.

A few hours pass. Ino and Sakura were introduced to the kids and helped Sasuke to distract them from causing too much destruction.

It was when the kids were taking their nap that the problems started.

**O:o:O**

Sakura sit on the kitchen, tired. Ino was rubbing her forehead, trying to stop the oncoming headache. Sasuke was eyeing the thing boiling on his stove; searching in his mind when the hell he started to cook a tomato soup.

He shrugs and starts serving the soup for Sakura and Ino.

Only after Ino has taken the first spoonful was when they notice the strange flavor.

-'Sasuke-kun…' Sakura frowns.-'What did you put on the soup?'-

The Uchiha looks at her and shrugs.

Ino continues eating until there is nothing left. After all, the soup was made by her Sasuke-kun.

On the contrary, Sakura eyes the food with distrust and refuses to eat more.

A wise decision.

**O:o:O**

On a hospital bed, two blue ayes snapped open.


End file.
